When someone shows you who they are, why don’t you believe them?  Why do people have such an urge to try to be the savior of another?  Didn’t Jesus already do that? Are you that desperate to be able to say “I got somebody”?  Why do we waste precious time trying to turn someone into something you think is better?  You do know that you can’t ever get that time back right?  Wouldn’t it make more sense to spend your time working on yourself so that you can attract what you really want?  I think it would.

We really need to spend the necessary time thoroughly assessing why we do the things that we do.  We have to understand that the reason we don’t have some of the things we want in our lives is  because of our own negative actions & behavior.  These negative things are blocking our blessings & the progression of our lives.  This causes us great frustration and it lends itself to disappointment, loneliness & unhappiness.  So creating & implementing a self-assessment plan is vital.

As a Pastor, I see it all the time & I’ve also lived it.  Stop letting any old body into your lives.  Start believing what they show you.  Stop trying to make them fit because that never works!  But what do we do when it fails; we try the same thing with someone else.  Isn’t that the very definition of insanity?

We are spiritual beings; but we spend so little time uncovering/discovering just how spirits affect/effect what we do & how we do it.  At birth Satan assigned a demon to each of us.  They report back to him our strengths & our weaknesses.  In order to be a least one step ahead of Satan we need to know what’s in our spiritual DNA; what demons have gained access to us via generational curses (the sins of our ancestors), and let’s talk about the sins we enjoy engaging in.  Satan uses all of this information to mount more successful attacks in order to destroy us & our families!

It’s amazing to me how we see these demons quite clearly on other people & how quick we are to tell them how to fix themselves, but we never seem to see the same demons in operation in ourselves!  Joyce Meyer says it like this; “we look at people through a magnifying glass but we look at ourselves through rose colored glasses”.  That simply means that we look at ourselves with a lot more grace, compassion & forgiveness than we do others. The Bible speaks to this in Matthew 7:5; (amp) ⁵ You hypocrite (play-actor, pretender), first get the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

Every day of your life you are showing people who you are.  Every day of your life you are showing people how you are.  What are people saying about the picture you are showing them?  Are you willing to take an honest look?  You will never be able to grow up if you don’t.  So the first thing you have to do is to take an honest & complete inventory of ourselves – flesh, soul  & spirit.  The Bible tells us in Matthew 12:29 (amp) ²⁹ Or how can someone enter a strong man’s house and plunder his goods, unless he first binds the strong man? Then indeed he may plunder his house; that you are the strong man & Satan will bind you first in order to steal from you.  Have you taken the time to identify who & how you have been bound?  If you don’t know who has attacked you, how can you do anything about it?  Have you ever had to call the police after something is happening?  One of the first things they ask is “Do you know who did this to you”?  They ask so that they can go get the person so that you can be vindicated, but if you don’t know who attacked you or how, the police may not be able to help very much.  You know like I do that many crimes are never solved because of lack of evidence.  Attackers come back to victimize you again once they find out that they will not be caught.  That is not how you want to live.

You have to remember that we teach people how to treat us, so who or what is influencing your behavior & your decisions?  Take a minute and look around at the people you have let into your life.  What benefits are they bringing?  What benefits do you bring to their lives?  Are you being used?  Or are you doing the using?

Let’s break this down even further by talking about some of the demons that are at play in our lives.  The first demon that comes to mind is the demon of “fear”.  How does “fear” influence your decision making?  For example, are you dating someone that you know is not good for you but you’re scared if you dump them you’ll be all alone again & you think that a bad relationship is better than no relationship?  Who told you that?  Probably that “fear” demon!  But you know for a fact it wasn’t God.  2 Timothy 1:7; ⁷ For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control].  How about this one, you’re scared to get on the airplane so you will only take vacation to the places you can reach by ground transportation.  God created this beautiful world & the demon of fear is keeping you from seeing & enjoying it.  What have you always dreamed of doing that you still haven’t done because fear has you tied up & you can’t break free?

Maybe the demon of fear it isn’t the main demon holding you back.  Have you met any of the demon of  fear’s friends?  How about lust, rejection, insecurity, shame, self-righteousness, & unforgiveness?  There are so many different demons that I know you have met at least one of them.  In order to be free of any demon you first have to identify them.   That could take some time.

Because of this, what do we do, we continue to waste so much time looking for other people to give us what we need & then we are continuously disappointed because what we look for people to do can only be done by God!  Time is a seed given to us by God so stop wasting it because you won’t get any more!

It all starts with a decision.  So make a decision to become & be the person you want to see enter your life.  Take some time & clean your inner house.  Those people around you that keep telling you they love you, but their actions repeatedly show you that they don’t – believe them & then show them the door!  1 John 4:18 (amp); ¹⁸ There is no fear in love [dread does not exist]. But perfect (complete, full-grown) love drives out fear, because fear involves [the expectation of divine] punishment, so the one who is afraid [of God’s judgment] is not perfected in love [has not grown into a sufficient understanding of God’s love]. That makes things very clear, doesn’t it?  Try to believe that & watch your life change for the better.

God said He will never leave you – believe that.  In Isaiah 41:10 (amp); ‘Do not fear [anything], for I am with you; Do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, be assured I will help you; I will certainly take hold of you with My righteous right hand [a hand of justice, of power, of victory, of salvation].’ Isn’t this what you want for your life? God makes it clear He has your back, He always has & always will – what would happen if you believed that?

So stop giving your heart to people and give it to God!  He will never mistreat you.  Put your faith & trust in Him because He’s showing you every day who He is & you CAN believe that!

Male vs. Man – do we really know the difference?  I know your first response is to say “of course” I know the difference between a male/boy and a mature man but look around, look around and then you will see there is a definite problem!  As you look around, take a look at your own dating life – when did you learn the difference?  How did you learn it & who taught the differences to you?   Ladies and gentlemen we really have to raise our standards!  It’s time we synchronize our definition about this with God’s definition!  Just like with everything, God’s way of doing things is the best for us.  No surprise there right?

As you look around at other people and maybe even yourself, you will see that most of us have fallen victim to “the grass looks greener syndrome”.  Married people want to be single & single people wanna be married.  No one is happy where they are & with who they are with.  It is such a problem Joyce Meyer even wrote a book about it called “Enjoying Where You Are on the Way to Where You’re Going”.  Why is it that we are so preoccupied with how someone else is living or what their lives look like, especially when we know people lie about how they are living to make people think things are better than they really are?  We know this but we continue to peep into the lives of others.  What would happen if we took our eyes off the lives of others & started looking at ourselves & our own lives?  Wouldn’t it give us more time to work on ourselves?  I don’t know about you, but I’m a full time job!  I don’t have time to mind anyone else business if I’m gonna keep me straight!

Looking into the lives of other people instead of our own lives is only the beginning of our mistake.  Life is a journey of discovery in order to discover & uncover our divine earthly assignments.  Therefore, each season or phase of life has its own purpose.  Each gives us the chance to learn, grow and put into practice what has just been taught.  I remember my parents telling me when I was a teenager to stop trying to grow up so fast.  I thought I was grown & knew it all.  They told me I would never get this time back & they were right.  Of course I didn’t listen to the degree that I should have & I missed some important lessons. It wasn’t until I grew up that I understood what they really meant.  As a teenager I thought they were just trying to keep me from having fun.  How many of you did the exact same thing?

But even as adults we continue with this childlike unproductive pattern of behavior.  Satan has us convinced that where we are is not good enough.  So my point is this – The summer is here and folks are hot!  As I look around me everywhere I see the results of bad choices based on incorrect information.  And I’m talking about folks in the church too!  The summer has exposed broken hearts, pregnancies outside of marriage, broken relationships and the lack of strong family units!

Ladies and gentlemen we have to raise our standards thus changing our conduct of behavior!  So today let’s talk about the difference between a male & a man from the perspective of one word – maturity!  I know we all believe we are mature adults but our behavior says something different!

The bible even talks about it in a few places.  So let’s start first with I Corinthians 13:11 (amp); When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.  God made us to mature as we grew in age, so what happened?  Basically we stopped looking to God for answers and started to do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted.  And who told us this was better than God’s way? See how that’s been working for us!  Ladies are having babies with no commitment from any of their baby daddies – many of them don’t even know who the daddies are!  If you think I’m lying just check out one episode of the Maury Show!  Guys make babies & find it easy to simply walk away never caring enough to look back.  As a result, our babies are dying in the streets & no one wants to take responsibility for that.

Let me help you out by giving you the correct information about what a real man is straight from God.  This has to be the only standard you live by.  No matter what anybody or anything (Satan) has told you this is how we’re supposed to live and it will give you everything you’ve ever wanted in a relationship with the opposite sex.

Males/boys grow into men by letting God mature them in the following areas (I’m only gonna cover a few of the basics areas).

1. A man has to be mature spiritually – to lead a wife and children by finding out from God the role of his family & how to get them there.

2. A man has to be mature in his personal self – To understand the true role of the man (& accept it) in order to be responsible in society & as a husband & father.

3. A man has to be mature economically – he must be able to hold a good job (yes ladies your man has to work) – He has to make enough money to provide for himself & his family & he must know how to handle his money properly – I Timothy 5:8 (amp); If anyone fails to provide for his own, and especially for those of his own family, he has denied the faith [by disregarding its precepts] and is worse than an unbeliever [who fulfills his obligation in these matters].

4. A man has to be mature sexually – He has to know that sex is meant for marriage  – for his one wife only – I Corinthians 7:2 (amp);But because of [the temptation to participate in] sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.

5. A man has to be mature in his character – his morals, ethics, and social behavior has to be in line with the word of God.

6. A man has to be mature biblically – studying & putting into practice the word of God has to be a part of his daily life.

Of course this is a very simplified version but this will definitely get you started.  You still have to sit down with God to get more details for exact application.  And don’t forget as you raise the standards of those around you, you must first live these standards out in your own life!  Because don’t forget – you are what you attract!

So what’s the difference between a male and a man?  The answer is simple – God  & maturity!